The natural and the unnatural

I used to wonder if people thought like me. You know, like am I the only one with such a cold heart? The only one who puts my interests before others at times? The only one that ever ... was completely selfish?

I find myself constantly rethinking every action. Was that act of kindness truly done for my love for the person or was I expecting something in return? I have to wonder if my own actions have alterier motives.

I am actually in the process of reading a collection of essays on depression. In one of them, it talks about how love is not natural. Think about it from a Darwinian stand point: the purpose of life is survival. Competition is normal. Fighting is normal. Everything is to fight to survive.
It talks about how physically love isn't really beneficial. To feel love does, but to give it does nothing. But it's a relationship that can be mutually beneficial. But really, there is nothing we do selflessly. To love one's self, and to fend for one's self is most natural. We love to receive in return.

It is for this reason, that depression and suicidal tendencies contradict nature. During those states, however, you do everything for yourself, but want to end the Self. Self-destruction isn't natural.

I think that's important to recognize. It teaches us something valuable: what's not natural can occur. Therefore, with little or lots of help, the nature can be conquered, and the nature can be thrown off.

Does altruism occur? I'd say yes. Sure, it contradicts nature, as does suicide and self-destruction but yet they exist. We can create the natural, and we can destroy it. Recognition of this, I believe is the first step.

But see, it's always what's unnaturally occuring that teaches us about what actually is naturally occuring. Mental illness teaches us how the brain functions when it's normal, and causes us to look at what caused it to be messed up. Retardation and genius teach us about the brain. Cancer teaches us about regular cell growth and division. Do you see how it all ties in?

It's not so bad, then, to have the unnatural, or to have the natural occuring. Both teach us about each other, and help us to correct either the natural or unnatural to make better lives for ourselves.