There happen to be two conflicting philosophies right now that are starting to make me nervous.
With God, the philosophy is to love—to inconvenience yourself for the convenience of others, and live through suffering. However, I have personal boundaries. I grow weary after years of fighting certain people. I become ready for the end.
But then there’s the conflict: God never does grow weary, so by his strength I should be able to take on the challenges. I still can have hope. But I physically can’t handle the stress.
Is there a point where you give up?
How far does our love need to extend? I know we’re God’s vehicles to change the world, I understand this. And I know the Christian life means a life of suffering on his behalf, but it is never okay just to take a deep breath? Fighting is so tiring! Even if it’s fighting for love, fighting myself to take care of people I’d prefer not to.
When am I able to choose to leave or to stay? Is it wrong to end friendships, if fighting is frequent and never makes any sense? Is it wrong to end relationships with family members (no I’m not talking about me; my family is amazing), if they treat you like dirt? When, then, are the exceptions? Just by the word of God? And what if it was misinterpreted? What then?
I know God never gives us more than we can handle, but I sometimes feel he has. I prefer solitude over people, with a few select people allowed to enter my solitude. However, I have to be around more people, and I’m not always patient enough to handle their loads. I try, and sometimes I have strength, but sometimes I’m flat out weary. I need breaks.
Cantankerous is love for the weary.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
"Normal"
When people speak of the “normal” a lot of times they speak of what they think to be civilized—acts of kindness (seeming altruism), declarations of purity, goals for the future, etc. A lot of times, what I noticed is that all of these are not the norm, but rather the rare.
We want the good to be the normal, however, I feel a lot of times that people act like animals. They don’t act good or human at all. We all have our secret acts of inhumanity. We all have our secret sins. And yet we all judge one another for what they do? We especially condemn those that have the courage to be up front with it.
I find all of this to be humorous. In no way am I condoning sin, but rather, pointing out that it’s common, and yet we’re busy judging other people while we are so filled with fault?
I think it goes back to what I was saying before—we emphasize others’ faults to distract us from our own. None of us want to believe we’re evil. None of us want to let people down, or be judged, or be thought ill of. Yet we all are at some point or another. I think we need to start accepting failure. Again, accepting, not condoning.
I think by accepting sin, and bringing it to light it makes it easier not to do. When no one knows that we are doing anything wrong, there’s no one to keep us accountable. We’re trapped in our secret, and usually our secret was started because we were sad, now the guilt makes us sadder so we go back to our guilty pleasure. Speaking about it, admitting to it, makes us free of it. Letting it out, lets it go. Letting it out brings freedom.
Let’s stop labeling stuff—stop labeling it as normal. We are scaring people into habitual patterns of sin. We are trapping people in fear to get help. Stop labeling, and let the people become free.
We want the good to be the normal, however, I feel a lot of times that people act like animals. They don’t act good or human at all. We all have our secret acts of inhumanity. We all have our secret sins. And yet we all judge one another for what they do? We especially condemn those that have the courage to be up front with it.
I find all of this to be humorous. In no way am I condoning sin, but rather, pointing out that it’s common, and yet we’re busy judging other people while we are so filled with fault?
I think it goes back to what I was saying before—we emphasize others’ faults to distract us from our own. None of us want to believe we’re evil. None of us want to let people down, or be judged, or be thought ill of. Yet we all are at some point or another. I think we need to start accepting failure. Again, accepting, not condoning.
I think by accepting sin, and bringing it to light it makes it easier not to do. When no one knows that we are doing anything wrong, there’s no one to keep us accountable. We’re trapped in our secret, and usually our secret was started because we were sad, now the guilt makes us sadder so we go back to our guilty pleasure. Speaking about it, admitting to it, makes us free of it. Letting it out, lets it go. Letting it out brings freedom.
Let’s stop labeling stuff—stop labeling it as normal. We are scaring people into habitual patterns of sin. We are trapping people in fear to get help. Stop labeling, and let the people become free.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Good in Everyone
Although I believe there is bad in everyone (as ‘bad’ is our nature), I believe that there is good in everyone, too.
Everyone has access to good inside of them. Everyone is capable of loving and capable of reaching higher in their life. However, I like an essay I recently read by Jackie Robinson. He said, “I do not believe that every person, from every walk of life, can succeed in spite of any handicap. That would be perfection.” I have to say I agree with him.
I try putting it nicer and saying “everyone has the capability. The reality, however, is that not everyone is going to succeed, not everyone is going to try. Some people are doomed because of path’s they’ve chosen.
I think they become incapable to be reasonable, kind, whatever the ‘good’ we’re talking about in the context is. I don’t think people are born that way. I think they are trained in a way that they can’t overcome it, or don’t have the motivation to try.
However, I believe that those who will succeed despite handicap, failure, persecution, and the like will be stronger, and live greater legacies because of it. The few that can overcome, and can activate the good (publically or private) enhance life for everyone else.
I believe in the good of people – even though, I understand, that not everyone will activate the parts of them that are good. Even in the worst person, a little bit of good can shine through the surface—at least once in their life.
Everyone has access to good inside of them. Everyone is capable of loving and capable of reaching higher in their life. However, I like an essay I recently read by Jackie Robinson. He said, “I do not believe that every person, from every walk of life, can succeed in spite of any handicap. That would be perfection.” I have to say I agree with him.
I try putting it nicer and saying “everyone has the capability. The reality, however, is that not everyone is going to succeed, not everyone is going to try. Some people are doomed because of path’s they’ve chosen.
I think they become incapable to be reasonable, kind, whatever the ‘good’ we’re talking about in the context is. I don’t think people are born that way. I think they are trained in a way that they can’t overcome it, or don’t have the motivation to try.
However, I believe that those who will succeed despite handicap, failure, persecution, and the like will be stronger, and live greater legacies because of it. The few that can overcome, and can activate the good (publically or private) enhance life for everyone else.
I believe in the good of people – even though, I understand, that not everyone will activate the parts of them that are good. Even in the worst person, a little bit of good can shine through the surface—at least once in their life.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Attraction and Personality
As much as none of us want to admit it, appearance has something to do with the way that we look at people.
However, I want to interrupt my line of thought there, and note that I’m not talking at all about race, simply physical beauty or lack thereof. Because if we really want to get into this, I think that so many black girls I know are beautiful, as are the Asians I know. I’m not going to discriminate because of race (and I’m just a little touchy on the race topic right now with the reverse racism that I’m facing right now. I’m sick of being called a racist solely because I’m white, and years ago white people hurt black people. But some African Americans forget that it was not all white people that enslaved them, just as it is not all African Americans that look down on Caucasians. As a matter of fact, just as Caucasians persecuted them, many saved them in the Underground Railroad. But that’s another argument for another time.)
Going back now, to my original point, I think our perception is skewed because of our level of attraction for people.
We tend to let people we find more attractive get away with more. I’ve found personally, that the way people act, plus the way people look determines my opinion on them. I don’t necessarily have drop dead gorgeous friends, or think higher of one or the other based solely on appearance, but my point is, whether we like to admit it or not, it is a factor.
I think in the world of online communication, though, it’s easier to get away from the appearance part of relationships. We don’t really see people face to face anymore (as often, again depending on who you are) to get that bias. We have photoshop to edit the pictures, and camera effects, and fake pictures, etc. We don’t have to show ourselves. Good or bad? I’m not really sure. There’s an argument for both. It’s good to get rid of the appearance bias, however, I still prefer face to face communication over online communication unless I don’t want to talk to someone. Then it’s easier to ignore, etc. But I mean, the computer has so little personality to it, that you can’t even see the handwriting of the person you’re talking to! But with personality, comes with a bias.
If we’re looking to create a bias-free world, I guess we’re getting closer with the computer (minus the fact that as of now we still have our own opinions, and we still have some ways to see what we look like). Good or bad, take it for what it’s worth.
This is your world today.
However, I want to interrupt my line of thought there, and note that I’m not talking at all about race, simply physical beauty or lack thereof. Because if we really want to get into this, I think that so many black girls I know are beautiful, as are the Asians I know. I’m not going to discriminate because of race (and I’m just a little touchy on the race topic right now with the reverse racism that I’m facing right now. I’m sick of being called a racist solely because I’m white, and years ago white people hurt black people. But some African Americans forget that it was not all white people that enslaved them, just as it is not all African Americans that look down on Caucasians. As a matter of fact, just as Caucasians persecuted them, many saved them in the Underground Railroad. But that’s another argument for another time.)
Going back now, to my original point, I think our perception is skewed because of our level of attraction for people.
We tend to let people we find more attractive get away with more. I’ve found personally, that the way people act, plus the way people look determines my opinion on them. I don’t necessarily have drop dead gorgeous friends, or think higher of one or the other based solely on appearance, but my point is, whether we like to admit it or not, it is a factor.
I think in the world of online communication, though, it’s easier to get away from the appearance part of relationships. We don’t really see people face to face anymore (as often, again depending on who you are) to get that bias. We have photoshop to edit the pictures, and camera effects, and fake pictures, etc. We don’t have to show ourselves. Good or bad? I’m not really sure. There’s an argument for both. It’s good to get rid of the appearance bias, however, I still prefer face to face communication over online communication unless I don’t want to talk to someone. Then it’s easier to ignore, etc. But I mean, the computer has so little personality to it, that you can’t even see the handwriting of the person you’re talking to! But with personality, comes with a bias.
If we’re looking to create a bias-free world, I guess we’re getting closer with the computer (minus the fact that as of now we still have our own opinions, and we still have some ways to see what we look like). Good or bad, take it for what it’s worth.
This is your world today.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Experience
“It’s okay to feel sadness; you need to feel sadness to know what happiness is.”
I had a conversation with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and he said this line. Although not verbatim (as it was late at night and I can’t remember exactly what he said), you get the gist of it.
I read something similar in “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Morrie tells Mitch to experience every emotion to its fullest as it comes, then be able to detach yourself from it.
I’ve come to agree.
I found the greatest freedom when allowing myself, instead of swelling with pride and pushing my pains down, to cry, to scream and to think thoroughly about situations. I was then able to come out stronger, more able to move on.
When you recognize your [bad] emotions, and let yourself experience them fully, you feel better afterwards. You’re less confused, and dazed, but fully aware, and able to separate yourself from the experience. You’ll no longer have to dwell on it. And when better things come, you’ll be able to recognize them, and grasp them as fully.
And honestly, although just my personal opinion, I believe to experience life you need to experience your emotions fully. You need to learn about yourself, and your body. When learning about your body, and its behaviors and reactions, you can then take care of it fully, and live your life more fully.
I believe that through following this, you will be a more useful person in society. So as far as I’m concerned, experience away, and learn as much as you can about yourself, your behaviors, and your feelings.
Experience to the fullest to live to the fullest.
I had a conversation with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and he said this line. Although not verbatim (as it was late at night and I can’t remember exactly what he said), you get the gist of it.
I read something similar in “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Morrie tells Mitch to experience every emotion to its fullest as it comes, then be able to detach yourself from it.
I’ve come to agree.
I found the greatest freedom when allowing myself, instead of swelling with pride and pushing my pains down, to cry, to scream and to think thoroughly about situations. I was then able to come out stronger, more able to move on.
When you recognize your [bad] emotions, and let yourself experience them fully, you feel better afterwards. You’re less confused, and dazed, but fully aware, and able to separate yourself from the experience. You’ll no longer have to dwell on it. And when better things come, you’ll be able to recognize them, and grasp them as fully.
And honestly, although just my personal opinion, I believe to experience life you need to experience your emotions fully. You need to learn about yourself, and your body. When learning about your body, and its behaviors and reactions, you can then take care of it fully, and live your life more fully.
I believe that through following this, you will be a more useful person in society. So as far as I’m concerned, experience away, and learn as much as you can about yourself, your behaviors, and your feelings.
Experience to the fullest to live to the fullest.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
To make ourselves feel better?
People are always talking about the 'people who talk bad on others to make themselves feel better.' But see, talking bad about other people never really makes you feel better about yourself. It makes you feel like a complete jerk, traitor, and I could go on with more names.
I personally think people speak ill of others (or talk about them at all) for different reasons.
I don't believe that people talk about other peoples' faults because it makes them feel better about their person, I believe they do it to distract them from their own faults.
It makes perfect sense, right?
While they are busy focusing on your faults, and picking you apart, they don't have the time to look in the mirror and criticizes themselves. It only makes them feel better about their person because it takes time away from their personal scrutiny. In this day and age, we have a hard enough time focusing on one thing, let alone many things. If they are busy focusing on your faults, how on earth will they have time to focus on theirs?
I personally think people speak ill of others (or talk about them at all) for different reasons.
I don't believe that people talk about other peoples' faults because it makes them feel better about their person, I believe they do it to distract them from their own faults.
It makes perfect sense, right?
While they are busy focusing on your faults, and picking you apart, they don't have the time to look in the mirror and criticizes themselves. It only makes them feel better about their person because it takes time away from their personal scrutiny. In this day and age, we have a hard enough time focusing on one thing, let alone many things. If they are busy focusing on your faults, how on earth will they have time to focus on theirs?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The life span of life
Overtime, we grow older. Our lives grow on, we get old, and our eventually we die. We pass on, but the earth still stays. Life still breathes.
What if the life span of life had a greater purpose? Just as we get wiser over time, life has. It's gone back and forth with growing pains, it's highs and lows, but it's growing just the same as we are.
Maybe life itself has a purpose--beyond the humans and the animals. Life has lived on for a long time. But let me clarify life.
I mean the cycle of life--vegetation, earth, the universe. I am calling all of that (the beginning of time) the beginning of life (whether scientifically accurate or not).
I mean, it would be interesting to think that we are part of a bigger scheme--the theatre of life's cycle. Maybe at the end of time, and the end of our time, God will let the earth speak, and we will learn, and know and feel everything that it's felt.
What if, although we think that we're training the animals, and we're coaching the cattle, and the trees and all living things to grow bigger and better, in the end, God opens their mouths and we hear, for the first time, what life is really like for them. What they've seen and heard and felt. Would we have felt guilty for our woes, and learned more from listening to them?
I wonder, too, what the earth would have said if God gave it a voice when he first made it. Would it be able to talk? Would it because excited to experience the life, or would it be scared? How would it's reaction change after it? If we could hear the earth speak throughout all times of history, what would it say? Would it have grown bored of life? Bored of people, of holding animals, and insects?
I'd like to know, too, if earth is immortal. How long will it live? How long will the life on it live? Will the animals be gone when the people are gone? Could the earth live on happily without life living on it. If the universe were to end, how would that be?
I guess I'll never know.
What if the life span of life had a greater purpose? Just as we get wiser over time, life has. It's gone back and forth with growing pains, it's highs and lows, but it's growing just the same as we are.
Maybe life itself has a purpose--beyond the humans and the animals. Life has lived on for a long time. But let me clarify life.
I mean the cycle of life--vegetation, earth, the universe. I am calling all of that (the beginning of time) the beginning of life (whether scientifically accurate or not).
I mean, it would be interesting to think that we are part of a bigger scheme--the theatre of life's cycle. Maybe at the end of time, and the end of our time, God will let the earth speak, and we will learn, and know and feel everything that it's felt.
What if, although we think that we're training the animals, and we're coaching the cattle, and the trees and all living things to grow bigger and better, in the end, God opens their mouths and we hear, for the first time, what life is really like for them. What they've seen and heard and felt. Would we have felt guilty for our woes, and learned more from listening to them?
I wonder, too, what the earth would have said if God gave it a voice when he first made it. Would it be able to talk? Would it because excited to experience the life, or would it be scared? How would it's reaction change after it? If we could hear the earth speak throughout all times of history, what would it say? Would it have grown bored of life? Bored of people, of holding animals, and insects?
I'd like to know, too, if earth is immortal. How long will it live? How long will the life on it live? Will the animals be gone when the people are gone? Could the earth live on happily without life living on it. If the universe were to end, how would that be?
I guess I'll never know.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Role Model
I’ve just come to understand my fascination with civil war era slavery. I used to tell people that I wish I was black or that I had been a slave. And people’s reaction was “Huh?” I think I’d feel the same way if I were them. But a desire to be a woman of color existed, too.
But it’s not the actual race, I guess, that interests me, but rather, the stereotype. The strong, courageous, compassionate women living self-lessly, fearlessly and enthralled with the Lord is so attractive. They comfort they seem to give, the inner beauty they possess was all so attractive to me. I realize now that I was looking more for a role model.
So what in us craves this need for a model citizen? Maybe that would be the “god-longing” that we’re called to have—the need for some semblance of perfection to look upon, and a role model to show us how to live our lives. In the Christian world, we are to model our lives after him. We are to desire to be like him. But I think we already have the longing wired in us.
We long for the comforter, the refuge, and the protector as child (which happen to be our parents). And biologically, physically, chemically, how we’re treated by our “protectors” affects the way we turn out. How they act; things they say.
Therefore, I believe we are biologically wired for a perfect model, a savior, a god. Atheists mock religions saying they are “man made”. Why would made create what they did not need? We needed answers, we needed to worship (we were made to worship) so we “created” God. Or maybe, although part of what we feel may be “created”, God himself, put in us, this vision of himself. And through that, birthed the religions.
Of course, how religion started, how God began to reveal himself, I believe dates with the Bible. Could it be written in metaphors? Could there be answers that God himself doesn’t leave in the book for us to know? I absolutely believe that. My God is incomprehensible, and I will never fully understand him. He is a mystery, which is why it is so easy to be allured to him. He never changes, yet no matter how much you know of him, you never know everything.
Therefore, I don’t know the origin of this need. I don’t know how God biologically wired us to “create” his books, looking from a secular standpoint. I just know that even people who aren’t of faith, have similar desires. They long to worship. They need a role model. And they long to feel loved.
But it’s not the actual race, I guess, that interests me, but rather, the stereotype. The strong, courageous, compassionate women living self-lessly, fearlessly and enthralled with the Lord is so attractive. They comfort they seem to give, the inner beauty they possess was all so attractive to me. I realize now that I was looking more for a role model.
So what in us craves this need for a model citizen? Maybe that would be the “god-longing” that we’re called to have—the need for some semblance of perfection to look upon, and a role model to show us how to live our lives. In the Christian world, we are to model our lives after him. We are to desire to be like him. But I think we already have the longing wired in us.
We long for the comforter, the refuge, and the protector as child (which happen to be our parents). And biologically, physically, chemically, how we’re treated by our “protectors” affects the way we turn out. How they act; things they say.
Therefore, I believe we are biologically wired for a perfect model, a savior, a god. Atheists mock religions saying they are “man made”. Why would made create what they did not need? We needed answers, we needed to worship (we were made to worship) so we “created” God. Or maybe, although part of what we feel may be “created”, God himself, put in us, this vision of himself. And through that, birthed the religions.
Of course, how religion started, how God began to reveal himself, I believe dates with the Bible. Could it be written in metaphors? Could there be answers that God himself doesn’t leave in the book for us to know? I absolutely believe that. My God is incomprehensible, and I will never fully understand him. He is a mystery, which is why it is so easy to be allured to him. He never changes, yet no matter how much you know of him, you never know everything.
Therefore, I don’t know the origin of this need. I don’t know how God biologically wired us to “create” his books, looking from a secular standpoint. I just know that even people who aren’t of faith, have similar desires. They long to worship. They need a role model. And they long to feel loved.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Biology and the Supernatural
Biologists and Christians like to fight each other on theories, but what if we didn't have to?
Here's the argument I'll explore right now: Hormones. The biologist says certain feelings are normal, such as desires for sex (especially at young ages and with the growing rate of precocious puberty). And the Christians say that teenage pregnancies, and teens having sex is because of a lack of morals, and demonic influence.
What if both are right?
Perhaps--now, bear with me, because it's simply a perhaps--spiritual forces affect the balance of hormones. How could this happen? Well, the balance of hormones has something to do with what you eat, and the amount of environment stress in your surroundings. So what if the supernatural forces (the bad ones, now) influenced you to eat a certain way, or God allowed certain stresses to be put on you? Your body would act in it's "imperfected" way, would react in a way to protect itself, and find ways to relieve it's stress. It would most likely cause other hormones to be imbalanced, etc. etc. etc.
I don't know a lot about science in this area, however, I know the brain is functioning based on certain hormones, or proteins. These hormones, or proteins are coded for in DNA and RNA and made in the ribosomes (or transported from there?) and the way to build all of this is by taking in the proper nutrients.
If the spiritual realm could effect our eatting habits, hungers, and desires, it could then control our body's susceptibility to sin ... This, of course, would be a suddle and easy way to distract people, because our reaction to life, weather, etc. is based on the way our bodies were designed to handle them, and they could be playing on the weaknesses in that design (not to diss God's work, but admitting to the fact that we're all imperfect beings).
Here's the argument I'll explore right now: Hormones. The biologist says certain feelings are normal, such as desires for sex (especially at young ages and with the growing rate of precocious puberty). And the Christians say that teenage pregnancies, and teens having sex is because of a lack of morals, and demonic influence.
What if both are right?
Perhaps--now, bear with me, because it's simply a perhaps--spiritual forces affect the balance of hormones. How could this happen? Well, the balance of hormones has something to do with what you eat, and the amount of environment stress in your surroundings. So what if the supernatural forces (the bad ones, now) influenced you to eat a certain way, or God allowed certain stresses to be put on you? Your body would act in it's "imperfected" way, would react in a way to protect itself, and find ways to relieve it's stress. It would most likely cause other hormones to be imbalanced, etc. etc. etc.
I don't know a lot about science in this area, however, I know the brain is functioning based on certain hormones, or proteins. These hormones, or proteins are coded for in DNA and RNA and made in the ribosomes (or transported from there?) and the way to build all of this is by taking in the proper nutrients.
If the spiritual realm could effect our eatting habits, hungers, and desires, it could then control our body's susceptibility to sin ... This, of course, would be a suddle and easy way to distract people, because our reaction to life, weather, etc. is based on the way our bodies were designed to handle them, and they could be playing on the weaknesses in that design (not to diss God's work, but admitting to the fact that we're all imperfect beings).
Saturday, July 25, 2009
A deeply integrated need
Lots of people in current times like to shy from the word “religious”. They don’t want to be considered religious, and a lot of times they don’t go to church often.
Yet I think there’s a fear for God still in them.
No, this isn’t because you see them worshipping all the time. It’s not because you see them relying on God for anything. But notice, when people want something really bad, or are completely desperate, their first instinct is to fold their hands, or walk into a church.
Could it be that faith is born with us? What if we were designed with some sort of need for God whether we acknowledge him or not?
Listen to BarlowGirl’s song “Pedestal”. It talks about needing someone perfect. How many young kids find role models? The little girls modeling their Bratz dolls, and wearing Hannah Montana wigs are a great example. What is it in us that makes us need to find a model of the person we want to be, then shadow their steps?
What if God put this desire in us so we’d look to him and follow his steps? It seems plausible, doesn’t it? The “intellectuals” mock the “religious” because someone “created” that God for the purpose of answering questions that no one else had the answers to that science now fills the spaces to. But what if that’s not true. I mean, think about it: if we didn’t have a need to worship, why would we have “created” a God? I think it’s more than brain receptor transmissions. There is something in us that craves an idol, that craves worship. And even those intellectuals who follow science wholeheartedly need something to believe in, something to grasp and passionately pursue.
But science can’t explain this desire in its entirety yet, can it?
Yet I think there’s a fear for God still in them.
No, this isn’t because you see them worshipping all the time. It’s not because you see them relying on God for anything. But notice, when people want something really bad, or are completely desperate, their first instinct is to fold their hands, or walk into a church.
Could it be that faith is born with us? What if we were designed with some sort of need for God whether we acknowledge him or not?
Listen to BarlowGirl’s song “Pedestal”. It talks about needing someone perfect. How many young kids find role models? The little girls modeling their Bratz dolls, and wearing Hannah Montana wigs are a great example. What is it in us that makes us need to find a model of the person we want to be, then shadow their steps?
What if God put this desire in us so we’d look to him and follow his steps? It seems plausible, doesn’t it? The “intellectuals” mock the “religious” because someone “created” that God for the purpose of answering questions that no one else had the answers to that science now fills the spaces to. But what if that’s not true. I mean, think about it: if we didn’t have a need to worship, why would we have “created” a God? I think it’s more than brain receptor transmissions. There is something in us that craves an idol, that craves worship. And even those intellectuals who follow science wholeheartedly need something to believe in, something to grasp and passionately pursue.
But science can’t explain this desire in its entirety yet, can it?
Friday, July 24, 2009
broken heart
“Girls become slutty when they get their heart broken.”
The above statement, made by one of my friends, seems to be true. But let’s look into it, and the reason why it could make sense.
I am going to come across as sexist, and strong here, but I’m doing this as not only venting, but as a warning. And no, don’t worry, friends: it’s not my current boyfriend. He’s more kind to me than I could ever ask for. But my last boyfriend? Damn, it still stings.
Girls, please, please, please heed my warning: never chose a man based on his words. Everyone can talk the talk. You know that Satan knows the Bible, right? Probably better than some Christians. Chose your boyfriend based the way he acts. Look at the way he treats his family and his friends. Deeply, too. I’m not saying just the surface, but how he really treats him. Get to know him before you let him in. Get the basics down, and decide then if you want to pursue him further.
And girls know that you deserve his attention. Remember, dating is the step before marriage. Girls, if he doesn’t pay attention to you when in the midst of other girls, and if his hobby is getting other girls’ numbers, say good-bye. Don’t do that to yourself.
I remember one day I spent hours getting ready for a dinner with him. I took hours to make my hair look beautiful, and I wore a pretty dress. I never got one compliment without prying. The dinner, I felt uncomfortable in my dress as my boyfriend talked to the girl beside him and did really nothing to make me comfortable. Then the ride home? He proceeded to stick his hand in my dress. As he walked through the door that night, he smiled and laughed and acted as if nothing ever happened. I yelled at him in the car. He wouldn’t even look at me. And then he tried to make it up with a kiss before he went inside to deceive my family and his.
I cried that night. I knew that meant he was good at acting, but you know what? I lied to myself. I justified him. I justified him. And every time he came back with another girl’s number and looked at other girls. I told myself just what he told me “just because you think someone’s pretty doesn’t mean you have feelings for them.” Or wait, was he just discussing how he felt about me? (Listen carefully to the things he says; if it could pertain to you, he could be lying to you).
And girls, if you see that he’s abusive, leave. Leave. Don’t lie to yourself. If you watch him hurt someone, don’t tell yourself that’s normal. Please don’t try to justify it. If he gets angry enough to hit his little sister over nothing, couldn’t he do the same to you? And trust me, there are guys out there that can control themselves. Their tempers, their hands. If your boyfriend doesn’t know how to control anger impulses, or sexual impulses, you need to learn how to leave. There will be other boys.
Heed my warning. Please.
If you do things to show him how much you love him and care about him, and he uses your notes and gifts to graffiti on, he’s not giving you the respect you deserve.
I know it seems unbelievable, but there are going to be boys that will treat you with respect. There are boys out there that care, and that control themselves. I found one now. But the whole time before I told myself that’s the way they were. I told myself that he acted the way he did because I was boring and that’s just what boys do. They don’t all have to do that. If that’s the extent of your relationship, that’s a true warning sign to get out.
I look back and hate the way I lied to myself throughout my broken relationship. I hate the way that I let the boy have my heart, and let him stomp it out, and in the end, I never saw that he truly hadn’t been treating me right the entire time. Two years in the future is the first time I can look back and say “Wow, he was bad to begin with. How did I not see that?” There were factors that made it harder – like my family being in love with the boy, and my friends not being too much of a help (until after).
Let me tell you something, it’s true: you become sluttier after your heart is broken. You think, when you fall in love with an abusive boy, that that’s all people will love you for and that’s all you’re worth. You are worth more than that. You are worth a lot more than, girls. Give yourself some credit, because if you don’t, no one else will.
And I know that sometimes when boys give you attention, even if you don’t have a crush on them, you think it’s harmless to flirt and it makes you feel better about yourself. I’ll tell you, you’ll end up trusting in them, and in the end you’ll find yourself in the same old boat. They’ll love you because they think that you’re so beautiful. But let me tell you, that’s about the depth of it. They say that they’ll date you and they’ll sleep with you, but the latter is all their looking for. Don’t fall for it; shut boys down. Don’t let them degrade you. Don’t let them hurt you. If their compliments make you uncomfortable, don’t let yourself continue to listen to them.
I hope everyone forgives me for the lack of beauty in these words, but I need a release. I need people to know how much in the end it hurts to be broken like this. Don’t let them hurt you, girls. I’ve cried. I’ve cut. I’ve been so depressed I could hardly wake up in the morning, and the only thing I could do was run or clean or do something that took all my focus to do so I could forget about the hurt. I pushed it aside for years, and never really had the strength to look through the entirety of the relationship. I looked through the “extreme” parts, but never the little things that happened, too. But I see now, that if I had, I could have seen that the “extreme” parts were coming. And I’m finally let myself cry for real without feeling guilty for all of the little hurts. I want to be free of the pain, and I think that by letting me feel it fully, it will be able to be released from me, for good. Don’t fall into the pressure, and become sluttier, and lower your standards because you think that’s all that’s available. Trust me, there are more available than what you think.
The above statement, made by one of my friends, seems to be true. But let’s look into it, and the reason why it could make sense.
I am going to come across as sexist, and strong here, but I’m doing this as not only venting, but as a warning. And no, don’t worry, friends: it’s not my current boyfriend. He’s more kind to me than I could ever ask for. But my last boyfriend? Damn, it still stings.
Girls, please, please, please heed my warning: never chose a man based on his words. Everyone can talk the talk. You know that Satan knows the Bible, right? Probably better than some Christians. Chose your boyfriend based the way he acts. Look at the way he treats his family and his friends. Deeply, too. I’m not saying just the surface, but how he really treats him. Get to know him before you let him in. Get the basics down, and decide then if you want to pursue him further.
And girls know that you deserve his attention. Remember, dating is the step before marriage. Girls, if he doesn’t pay attention to you when in the midst of other girls, and if his hobby is getting other girls’ numbers, say good-bye. Don’t do that to yourself.
I remember one day I spent hours getting ready for a dinner with him. I took hours to make my hair look beautiful, and I wore a pretty dress. I never got one compliment without prying. The dinner, I felt uncomfortable in my dress as my boyfriend talked to the girl beside him and did really nothing to make me comfortable. Then the ride home? He proceeded to stick his hand in my dress. As he walked through the door that night, he smiled and laughed and acted as if nothing ever happened. I yelled at him in the car. He wouldn’t even look at me. And then he tried to make it up with a kiss before he went inside to deceive my family and his.
I cried that night. I knew that meant he was good at acting, but you know what? I lied to myself. I justified him. I justified him. And every time he came back with another girl’s number and looked at other girls. I told myself just what he told me “just because you think someone’s pretty doesn’t mean you have feelings for them.” Or wait, was he just discussing how he felt about me? (Listen carefully to the things he says; if it could pertain to you, he could be lying to you).
And girls, if you see that he’s abusive, leave. Leave. Don’t lie to yourself. If you watch him hurt someone, don’t tell yourself that’s normal. Please don’t try to justify it. If he gets angry enough to hit his little sister over nothing, couldn’t he do the same to you? And trust me, there are guys out there that can control themselves. Their tempers, their hands. If your boyfriend doesn’t know how to control anger impulses, or sexual impulses, you need to learn how to leave. There will be other boys.
Heed my warning. Please.
If you do things to show him how much you love him and care about him, and he uses your notes and gifts to graffiti on, he’s not giving you the respect you deserve.
I know it seems unbelievable, but there are going to be boys that will treat you with respect. There are boys out there that care, and that control themselves. I found one now. But the whole time before I told myself that’s the way they were. I told myself that he acted the way he did because I was boring and that’s just what boys do. They don’t all have to do that. If that’s the extent of your relationship, that’s a true warning sign to get out.
I look back and hate the way I lied to myself throughout my broken relationship. I hate the way that I let the boy have my heart, and let him stomp it out, and in the end, I never saw that he truly hadn’t been treating me right the entire time. Two years in the future is the first time I can look back and say “Wow, he was bad to begin with. How did I not see that?” There were factors that made it harder – like my family being in love with the boy, and my friends not being too much of a help (until after).
Let me tell you something, it’s true: you become sluttier after your heart is broken. You think, when you fall in love with an abusive boy, that that’s all people will love you for and that’s all you’re worth. You are worth more than that. You are worth a lot more than, girls. Give yourself some credit, because if you don’t, no one else will.
And I know that sometimes when boys give you attention, even if you don’t have a crush on them, you think it’s harmless to flirt and it makes you feel better about yourself. I’ll tell you, you’ll end up trusting in them, and in the end you’ll find yourself in the same old boat. They’ll love you because they think that you’re so beautiful. But let me tell you, that’s about the depth of it. They say that they’ll date you and they’ll sleep with you, but the latter is all their looking for. Don’t fall for it; shut boys down. Don’t let them degrade you. Don’t let them hurt you. If their compliments make you uncomfortable, don’t let yourself continue to listen to them.
I hope everyone forgives me for the lack of beauty in these words, but I need a release. I need people to know how much in the end it hurts to be broken like this. Don’t let them hurt you, girls. I’ve cried. I’ve cut. I’ve been so depressed I could hardly wake up in the morning, and the only thing I could do was run or clean or do something that took all my focus to do so I could forget about the hurt. I pushed it aside for years, and never really had the strength to look through the entirety of the relationship. I looked through the “extreme” parts, but never the little things that happened, too. But I see now, that if I had, I could have seen that the “extreme” parts were coming. And I’m finally let myself cry for real without feeling guilty for all of the little hurts. I want to be free of the pain, and I think that by letting me feel it fully, it will be able to be released from me, for good. Don’t fall into the pressure, and become sluttier, and lower your standards because you think that’s all that’s available. Trust me, there are more available than what you think.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The natural and the unnatural
I used to wonder if people thought like me. You know, like am I the only one with such a cold heart? The only one who puts my interests before others at times? The only one that ever ... was completely selfish?
I find myself constantly rethinking every action. Was that act of kindness truly done for my love for the person or was I expecting something in return? I have to wonder if my own actions have alterier motives.
I am actually in the process of reading a collection of essays on depression. In one of them, it talks about how love is not natural. Think about it from a Darwinian stand point: the purpose of life is survival. Competition is normal. Fighting is normal. Everything is to fight to survive.
It talks about how physically love isn't really beneficial. To feel love does, but to give it does nothing. But it's a relationship that can be mutually beneficial. But really, there is nothing we do selflessly. To love one's self, and to fend for one's self is most natural. We love to receive in return.
It is for this reason, that depression and suicidal tendencies contradict nature. During those states, however, you do everything for yourself, but want to end the Self. Self-destruction isn't natural.
I think that's important to recognize. It teaches us something valuable: what's not natural can occur. Therefore, with little or lots of help, the nature can be conquered, and the nature can be thrown off.
Does altruism occur? I'd say yes. Sure, it contradicts nature, as does suicide and self-destruction but yet they exist. We can create the natural, and we can destroy it. Recognition of this, I believe is the first step.
But see, it's always what's unnaturally occuring that teaches us about what actually is naturally occuring. Mental illness teaches us how the brain functions when it's normal, and causes us to look at what caused it to be messed up. Retardation and genius teach us about the brain. Cancer teaches us about regular cell growth and division. Do you see how it all ties in?
It's not so bad, then, to have the unnatural, or to have the natural occuring. Both teach us about each other, and help us to correct either the natural or unnatural to make better lives for ourselves.
I find myself constantly rethinking every action. Was that act of kindness truly done for my love for the person or was I expecting something in return? I have to wonder if my own actions have alterier motives.
I am actually in the process of reading a collection of essays on depression. In one of them, it talks about how love is not natural. Think about it from a Darwinian stand point: the purpose of life is survival. Competition is normal. Fighting is normal. Everything is to fight to survive.
It talks about how physically love isn't really beneficial. To feel love does, but to give it does nothing. But it's a relationship that can be mutually beneficial. But really, there is nothing we do selflessly. To love one's self, and to fend for one's self is most natural. We love to receive in return.
It is for this reason, that depression and suicidal tendencies contradict nature. During those states, however, you do everything for yourself, but want to end the Self. Self-destruction isn't natural.
I think that's important to recognize. It teaches us something valuable: what's not natural can occur. Therefore, with little or lots of help, the nature can be conquered, and the nature can be thrown off.
Does altruism occur? I'd say yes. Sure, it contradicts nature, as does suicide and self-destruction but yet they exist. We can create the natural, and we can destroy it. Recognition of this, I believe is the first step.
But see, it's always what's unnaturally occuring that teaches us about what actually is naturally occuring. Mental illness teaches us how the brain functions when it's normal, and causes us to look at what caused it to be messed up. Retardation and genius teach us about the brain. Cancer teaches us about regular cell growth and division. Do you see how it all ties in?
It's not so bad, then, to have the unnatural, or to have the natural occuring. Both teach us about each other, and help us to correct either the natural or unnatural to make better lives for ourselves.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Beware
In eighth grade, my science teacher started talking about a chemical by saying all it's bad attributes. "It kills _____ people every year. It's toxic if taken in it's purest form. It's all over the earth..." And she went on and on about how horrible the chemical we'd be dealing with would be. Oh, but the chemical she was talking about? Water.
Perception is everything. We need water to survive, but she was able to make it look like our enemy (with a lot more description and facts than I have remembered).
I just want people to know there are two sides to every story. We've been told this numerous times, but after all I've gone through fighting in court, and with a current situation I'm dealing with, now more than ever am I fighting to make people believe that there are multiple truths.
One reason I could never be a lawyer: I cry if the justice that is deserved isn't served. And most of the time it isn't. We always pick on the weak, or the one that has no say. And you know what, when you're in a court room, who are you supposed to believe?
And although there are two sides to every story, sometimes the reason that the story is twisted is due to an emotional response triggered in your body. I was reading an essay in the book "Unholy Ghost: writers on depression" called "Toys in the Attic" by Chase Twichell and he talked about consciousness. He discussed how our bodies react differently on different drugs, and how the different medications and nature change our body's language. In his mind, "self" is fiction and to understand the world, you need to be out of the "self", because the "self" can change the way the world is perceived. On top of that, our bodies create chemical reactions based on our situations as survival instincts that create our dillusions that we sometimes believe.
I must say a lot of the more interesting science articles I've read have dealt with how the human body responds to pain. Religious people who have a picture of Jesus or the virgin Mary in front them when they are in pain have a lesser pain reaction than those who don't believe in it, and look at those pictures. Or even if the religious people look at a picture that's recognizable but not attached to them. Then, just yesterday, I heard the study of how when people said a curse word of their choice while their hands were submerged in freezing cold water, they were able to withstand the pain longer than those saying words that weren't vulgarities. The argument is that the curse words trigger a "fight" response from the fight-or-flight instincts in us, that help those people to deal with the pain better. I read another article a few months ago that explains how our brains actually create it's own marijuana reactions to deal with pain, but of course, without the bad side effects of it.
I just want to point out the incredible strength of the human mind, and body. With that, I'd like to point out, that most of it originates from evolutionary backgrounds, and animal-like instincts that we have that cause our bodies to work in ways that will best help us survive. On discovery.com you can watch videos about the body's response to stress, and starvation and a lot of these things that we do subconsciously as a result to our environment that we're not even aware of.
With this knowledge, I'll let you know that you'll come to times in your life where you will be dealing with unreasonable people. They know what they've seen, and heard, and felt. They can justify what they've done. They believe they are being rational. And there are times when YOU'LL be the one that's irrational and won't recognize it. I would like to give you ways around insanity, ways to prevent insanity, however, sometimes, it's our body's way of protecting itself.
I guess in the end, all that's left to say is beware.
Perception is everything. We need water to survive, but she was able to make it look like our enemy (with a lot more description and facts than I have remembered).
I just want people to know there are two sides to every story. We've been told this numerous times, but after all I've gone through fighting in court, and with a current situation I'm dealing with, now more than ever am I fighting to make people believe that there are multiple truths.
One reason I could never be a lawyer: I cry if the justice that is deserved isn't served. And most of the time it isn't. We always pick on the weak, or the one that has no say. And you know what, when you're in a court room, who are you supposed to believe?
And although there are two sides to every story, sometimes the reason that the story is twisted is due to an emotional response triggered in your body. I was reading an essay in the book "Unholy Ghost: writers on depression" called "Toys in the Attic" by Chase Twichell and he talked about consciousness. He discussed how our bodies react differently on different drugs, and how the different medications and nature change our body's language. In his mind, "self" is fiction and to understand the world, you need to be out of the "self", because the "self" can change the way the world is perceived. On top of that, our bodies create chemical reactions based on our situations as survival instincts that create our dillusions that we sometimes believe.
I must say a lot of the more interesting science articles I've read have dealt with how the human body responds to pain. Religious people who have a picture of Jesus or the virgin Mary in front them when they are in pain have a lesser pain reaction than those who don't believe in it, and look at those pictures. Or even if the religious people look at a picture that's recognizable but not attached to them. Then, just yesterday, I heard the study of how when people said a curse word of their choice while their hands were submerged in freezing cold water, they were able to withstand the pain longer than those saying words that weren't vulgarities. The argument is that the curse words trigger a "fight" response from the fight-or-flight instincts in us, that help those people to deal with the pain better. I read another article a few months ago that explains how our brains actually create it's own marijuana reactions to deal with pain, but of course, without the bad side effects of it.
I just want to point out the incredible strength of the human mind, and body. With that, I'd like to point out, that most of it originates from evolutionary backgrounds, and animal-like instincts that we have that cause our bodies to work in ways that will best help us survive. On discovery.com you can watch videos about the body's response to stress, and starvation and a lot of these things that we do subconsciously as a result to our environment that we're not even aware of.
With this knowledge, I'll let you know that you'll come to times in your life where you will be dealing with unreasonable people. They know what they've seen, and heard, and felt. They can justify what they've done. They believe they are being rational. And there are times when YOU'LL be the one that's irrational and won't recognize it. I would like to give you ways around insanity, ways to prevent insanity, however, sometimes, it's our body's way of protecting itself.
I guess in the end, all that's left to say is beware.
Monday, June 22, 2009
History in the Present
One form of evidence for evolutionary thought are the pieces of the past perserved in the present beings and places. This evidence is found through things such as vestigal organs, to the coal found in the icy lands of the Antarctica. I feel, though, that it encompasses more than just that.
Have you ever studied psychology? I haven't really too much, but at times I find myself to be rather vouyeristic. I'm intrigued by studying the behavior of others'. There's so much you learn about them. Especially when you learn their history - then their behavior makes sense.
A lot of times, you notice that people's behavior perserves their past. Maybe their more conservative when they're older to cover up the lack of respect they had for themselves. And sometimes the lack of respect they have for their selves comes from the home in which they are raised. And the home from which they are raised comes from the home in which their parents are raised, and the experiences their parents went through. A lot of hobbies and talents come that way, too. Natural abilities and tendencies that a closely related relative have we emulate. I look at myself - I have my mother's love for music, and writing. I have my father's passion for hard-work. I have my grandmother's love for reusing and making art. I have my grandfather's love for nature and traveling. I have my other grandmother's simplicity, and her husband's interest in economics. I am pieces of every distant relative, through behaviors and interests. Whether in a positive way or negative way, I believe that our past affects who we are today. Even when we try to be extra good to undo the mistakes our parents made, we hold in us a part of them - the motivation to do better than them. They still influence us. They still affect us. Therefore, they are preserved in us.
I believe, then, that it is crucial to learn the past. I feel it brings us a better understanding of the present, and of our tendencies. Maybe it brings into sight behaviors and hang-ups we weren't even aware of - or places we're heading that we wouldn't want to go. But I feel that understanding our past makes us better people. I'm not sure that we'll ever be able to eliminate its presence - and I think that's okay. It gives us the ability to understand the now and move forward from the now. Without understanding where you've come from, you can't possibly understand where you're going. And everyone wants to know that.
Have you ever studied psychology? I haven't really too much, but at times I find myself to be rather vouyeristic. I'm intrigued by studying the behavior of others'. There's so much you learn about them. Especially when you learn their history - then their behavior makes sense.
A lot of times, you notice that people's behavior perserves their past. Maybe their more conservative when they're older to cover up the lack of respect they had for themselves. And sometimes the lack of respect they have for their selves comes from the home in which they are raised. And the home from which they are raised comes from the home in which their parents are raised, and the experiences their parents went through. A lot of hobbies and talents come that way, too. Natural abilities and tendencies that a closely related relative have we emulate. I look at myself - I have my mother's love for music, and writing. I have my father's passion for hard-work. I have my grandmother's love for reusing and making art. I have my grandfather's love for nature and traveling. I have my other grandmother's simplicity, and her husband's interest in economics. I am pieces of every distant relative, through behaviors and interests. Whether in a positive way or negative way, I believe that our past affects who we are today. Even when we try to be extra good to undo the mistakes our parents made, we hold in us a part of them - the motivation to do better than them. They still influence us. They still affect us. Therefore, they are preserved in us.
I believe, then, that it is crucial to learn the past. I feel it brings us a better understanding of the present, and of our tendencies. Maybe it brings into sight behaviors and hang-ups we weren't even aware of - or places we're heading that we wouldn't want to go. But I feel that understanding our past makes us better people. I'm not sure that we'll ever be able to eliminate its presence - and I think that's okay. It gives us the ability to understand the now and move forward from the now. Without understanding where you've come from, you can't possibly understand where you're going. And everyone wants to know that.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Repulsive
I guess we've all noticed the regression of modesty in women. We've seen the media become sexualized. We've seen the magazines, and the expectations. But that's all them. It's not us, right? It's just them. We just see it and have to protect ourselves against it, right?
No. No. No.
I'm on facebook looking through friend's pictures and I feel like I'm looking at childhood pornography. These girls look virtually naked. Covering up the nipples and vagina is nice, but you've got to do more than that.
"But what about freedom? We should have the right of self-expression!" You know, I'm all for it. But cover up, girls! We're no longer the five years old manipulated by the latest treads. We have power. Even if you buy the magazines and watch the trashy television programs (although I don't advise it) don't buy into it yourselves! You are stronger than that!
I've not yet read it, but I know the facts in it are astounding and therefore I'd suggest readers here to read "the Lolita Effect". The sexualization is incredible. But I'm still amazed that people my age are just sucked into it. I understand children being manipulated, and adults being sucked into it (or mature enough to "handle it"), but my generation? My age? We're still falling into it? Guys, come on! Gain some self-respect.
Maybe the problem's really not the media at all. Maybe it's a self-respect issue. Maybe it's the way that we're showing people how to view themselves. What if the provocative dress, and sexualized media was a manifestation of a separate problem? Where would the deepest roots lie?
I don't have any answers. I just know that whatever it is, the manifestations are getting uglier, and uglier.
No. No. No.
I'm on facebook looking through friend's pictures and I feel like I'm looking at childhood pornography. These girls look virtually naked. Covering up the nipples and vagina is nice, but you've got to do more than that.
"But what about freedom? We should have the right of self-expression!" You know, I'm all for it. But cover up, girls! We're no longer the five years old manipulated by the latest treads. We have power. Even if you buy the magazines and watch the trashy television programs (although I don't advise it) don't buy into it yourselves! You are stronger than that!
I've not yet read it, but I know the facts in it are astounding and therefore I'd suggest readers here to read "the Lolita Effect". The sexualization is incredible. But I'm still amazed that people my age are just sucked into it. I understand children being manipulated, and adults being sucked into it (or mature enough to "handle it"), but my generation? My age? We're still falling into it? Guys, come on! Gain some self-respect.
Maybe the problem's really not the media at all. Maybe it's a self-respect issue. Maybe it's the way that we're showing people how to view themselves. What if the provocative dress, and sexualized media was a manifestation of a separate problem? Where would the deepest roots lie?
I don't have any answers. I just know that whatever it is, the manifestations are getting uglier, and uglier.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Open-Mindedness
I think of open-mindedness as more of acceptance. It's not the absence of an opinion. It's just the ability to hear the other side despite your own personal opinion and beliefs. I believe it's a way at neutrality.
I'd like to think of myself as fairly open-minded, but I have incredibly strong opinions on some subjects. On other subjects, I'm not so sure. Don't be fooled, though; even when I come across as strong, I do possess the ability to listen. And accept. Most of the time I end up sharing my opinions here, because I personally feel rejected for them elsewhere, and want people to know my viewpoint. Or because I am venting with a specific challenge statement to other people.
For example, "Go Ask Alice" was a deeply disturbing story. Not only did it make me upset for the girl, but assess my own life. It also helped me see the areas that I personally can cope with and others can't. I was hoping to point out what happens when you have a son or daughter that can't handle the pressure and being alone. I do my best to make it, as do others, but sometimes, we can't do it. I feel sad. And I feel I did my part by warning and thinking and reflecting to try so that won't happen again to another person.
Sorry to offend parents. I only meant to open your eyes. I'm not saying I'm great in that area, but that's why I know that I can speak for that. I see a need for it in my own life, and in others. I understand that we're so busy that we don't have time ... But all of this belongs in a different post.
But please, feel free to comment freely. I'm here to make friends and introduce the world to my philosophies. I'm not here to make enemies.
I'd like to think of myself as fairly open-minded, but I have incredibly strong opinions on some subjects. On other subjects, I'm not so sure. Don't be fooled, though; even when I come across as strong, I do possess the ability to listen. And accept. Most of the time I end up sharing my opinions here, because I personally feel rejected for them elsewhere, and want people to know my viewpoint. Or because I am venting with a specific challenge statement to other people.
For example, "Go Ask Alice" was a deeply disturbing story. Not only did it make me upset for the girl, but assess my own life. It also helped me see the areas that I personally can cope with and others can't. I was hoping to point out what happens when you have a son or daughter that can't handle the pressure and being alone. I do my best to make it, as do others, but sometimes, we can't do it. I feel sad. And I feel I did my part by warning and thinking and reflecting to try so that won't happen again to another person.
Sorry to offend parents. I only meant to open your eyes. I'm not saying I'm great in that area, but that's why I know that I can speak for that. I see a need for it in my own life, and in others. I understand that we're so busy that we don't have time ... But all of this belongs in a different post.
But please, feel free to comment freely. I'm here to make friends and introduce the world to my philosophies. I'm not here to make enemies.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Our strength?
Freedom. Ah, sweet freedom. Is that not our country's strength? We have the freedom to talk, and know, and to live, and to own, and to hope, and to create ... We have the freedom to do whatever we want (within a very few boundaries). As a matter of fact, we have the freedom to hate, and to verbally hurt, and to judge, and to... Oops. I guess we forgot about that.
I think so many times, we don't realize how much of a weakness our strength can be. For example, my passion is my strength. It's also a weakness. Because with every trait comes good and bad things.
I mean, I guess as imperfect humans, everything we have, create or desire has some sort of evil in it. We're taught to be made in the image of God, yet we're not perfect like him. I think it's because we have the same emotions that he has, only his our perfect. We have love, but his is more beautiful. He has judgment, but his is pure. I think it's just another aspect of the Bible and God we won't be able to understand.
I think so many times, we don't realize how much of a weakness our strength can be. For example, my passion is my strength. It's also a weakness. Because with every trait comes good and bad things.
I mean, I guess as imperfect humans, everything we have, create or desire has some sort of evil in it. We're taught to be made in the image of God, yet we're not perfect like him. I think it's because we have the same emotions that he has, only his our perfect. We have love, but his is more beautiful. He has judgment, but his is pure. I think it's just another aspect of the Bible and God we won't be able to understand.
"Go Ask Alice"
I just finished reading this novel. It was actually a diary written by a fifteen year old drug user. But look, I bet you I've already given you negative connotations of her. Drug user. Isn't that such a horrid term? Especially for the girl, who seemed to be so nice. She didn't even willingly try it. She, for once in her life, was invited to a party and wanted to fit in. In her nervousness, and desire to play it cool, she played the games that the people at the party were playing (unaware, of course, that the stuff they were drinking had drugs in it). She was hooked, although she knew it was wrong. It was this constant battle. And when she'd want to stay clean, it was hard. Her new friends all did it. Everywhere she went, people seemed to do it. She'd stay on drugs for a little, feel bad realizing what it did and go off of it. But the pushers at her school harassed her, bringing her back the first time. But the last time, after so much crap had happened to her, she was done for good. So they put LSD in some of her candy when she was babysitting a neighbor. She ripped out her some fingernails, ripped out some of her hair. She had bruises everywhere and couldn't remember what happened. They put drugs in candy and warned her to watch her sister, etc. It was horrible.
But I want to emphasize a reason why she went through all of that. Think about it: She's a good kid, and she doesn't want to do drugs again. But, at the same time, although she didn't do it willingly, she liked them, and she had friends when she did them. If she was with her friends, she was tempted to do it again. But what brought her back to her friends, and back to the drugs although she didn't want to: fear. She was ashamed the first time, and couldn't talk to anyone. Her grandparents didn't know what had happened, and encouraged her to go out. She was afraid to be judged when it started getting really bad, so she couldn't stop it. Shame. Guilt. Fear.
Do parents, teachers, and people in all places of authority realize what they do to children these days? They trap kids in their mistakes, by being judgmental and un-understanding. A lot of those kids that even the girl in the book met, they had been bribed, or tricked into started, got hooked, and did stupid stuff to get drugs, and even stupider stuff to escape the shame of the first time. But does no one see that we allow this to happen? We don't let people speak freely. We don't let them talk. We condemn them for their past, without ever understanding the pain they go through every waking moment they think of their mistake. We judge. We guilt trip. What kind of humans are we?
I will forever emphasize the lack of free speech in this country and the uprise of political correctness. Even within my own family, I've seen people afraid to speak of their past. I actually felt bad for the people at church sharing their testimonies of past mistakes. But we don't know why people do what they do; we just condemn them. Condemn. Judge. Condemn. Judge.
But after, we're so shocked and depressed when we hear of teens suicide. Or we mock them for their "teenaged angst" and their "attention cries". But we never, ever, ever give them an ear. At least not without consequence. I understand that every action has a consequence, however, could we even try to be understanding? Just try?
Sure, we are free to hate, and judge, and condemn in this country. That's a part of our freedom. And I'm not guilt free. But this is one of the reasons we should work on it: death. Good people that get sucked into bad things, and left helpless because of what someone might say. Trapped. Used.
Is that what we want?
We complain about our country's youth. But do we ever help them? Do we ever stop our lives and listen. Not just partially, but really listen. Our youth needs listeners. Someone to talk to them, and understand them. Someone to help them out. But we're not giving them that. We expect them to listen, and keep their mouth closed, and be respectful. Sometimes, though, adults need to watch how they act towards kids. Maybe it's not completely the youth's fault that they are the way they are.
After all, we do learn from our example.
However, I don't want anyone to think I'm blaming all the adults. Of course, it's not your fault completely. But think about what you could do to stop harm from happening and create a healthy generation of kids. Mitch Albom was right with the line, "All parents damage their children." Of course, this is not intentional. But we all come up short. We have failings. And we hurt other people. Seen or unseen, our every move, affects another person. Whether neglect, or abuse, or nagging. Think before you make a move. When your watching your computer screen while your daughter's talking to you, and when you ground your daughter from all social life for not making her bed, forgetting to commend her achievements in school, think again. Those little things make a differences. And be interested in your kids' lives. Find the balance that works for your family. And watch out for signs that something's going wrong. Make an environment in which people are willing to talk to you in your house. Be gracious, and gentle. Be understanding. And let them know through your actions that you are. Everything you do affects other people inside AND outside of your family.
Are you willing to kill another Alice today?
But I want to emphasize a reason why she went through all of that. Think about it: She's a good kid, and she doesn't want to do drugs again. But, at the same time, although she didn't do it willingly, she liked them, and she had friends when she did them. If she was with her friends, she was tempted to do it again. But what brought her back to her friends, and back to the drugs although she didn't want to: fear. She was ashamed the first time, and couldn't talk to anyone. Her grandparents didn't know what had happened, and encouraged her to go out. She was afraid to be judged when it started getting really bad, so she couldn't stop it. Shame. Guilt. Fear.
Do parents, teachers, and people in all places of authority realize what they do to children these days? They trap kids in their mistakes, by being judgmental and un-understanding. A lot of those kids that even the girl in the book met, they had been bribed, or tricked into started, got hooked, and did stupid stuff to get drugs, and even stupider stuff to escape the shame of the first time. But does no one see that we allow this to happen? We don't let people speak freely. We don't let them talk. We condemn them for their past, without ever understanding the pain they go through every waking moment they think of their mistake. We judge. We guilt trip. What kind of humans are we?
I will forever emphasize the lack of free speech in this country and the uprise of political correctness. Even within my own family, I've seen people afraid to speak of their past. I actually felt bad for the people at church sharing their testimonies of past mistakes. But we don't know why people do what they do; we just condemn them. Condemn. Judge. Condemn. Judge.
But after, we're so shocked and depressed when we hear of teens suicide. Or we mock them for their "teenaged angst" and their "attention cries". But we never, ever, ever give them an ear. At least not without consequence. I understand that every action has a consequence, however, could we even try to be understanding? Just try?
Sure, we are free to hate, and judge, and condemn in this country. That's a part of our freedom. And I'm not guilt free. But this is one of the reasons we should work on it: death. Good people that get sucked into bad things, and left helpless because of what someone might say. Trapped. Used.
Is that what we want?
We complain about our country's youth. But do we ever help them? Do we ever stop our lives and listen. Not just partially, but really listen. Our youth needs listeners. Someone to talk to them, and understand them. Someone to help them out. But we're not giving them that. We expect them to listen, and keep their mouth closed, and be respectful. Sometimes, though, adults need to watch how they act towards kids. Maybe it's not completely the youth's fault that they are the way they are.
After all, we do learn from our example.
However, I don't want anyone to think I'm blaming all the adults. Of course, it's not your fault completely. But think about what you could do to stop harm from happening and create a healthy generation of kids. Mitch Albom was right with the line, "All parents damage their children." Of course, this is not intentional. But we all come up short. We have failings. And we hurt other people. Seen or unseen, our every move, affects another person. Whether neglect, or abuse, or nagging. Think before you make a move. When your watching your computer screen while your daughter's talking to you, and when you ground your daughter from all social life for not making her bed, forgetting to commend her achievements in school, think again. Those little things make a differences. And be interested in your kids' lives. Find the balance that works for your family. And watch out for signs that something's going wrong. Make an environment in which people are willing to talk to you in your house. Be gracious, and gentle. Be understanding. And let them know through your actions that you are. Everything you do affects other people inside AND outside of your family.
Are you willing to kill another Alice today?
Religion in Schools
I believe in the co-existence of both science and God. However, I do not believe in the co-existence of faith and science in a high-school science class. Let's think about the differences: science, and scientific theories come from observable and re-observable observations, and data. Faith comes from emotional experiences and beings that can not be tested, because they are not manifested in a physical form. For this reason, science and faith needs to be separated in a school setting.
I don't want people to get the wrong idea - I do think that children and teens should be introduced to different religions in school. But when I say different religions, I think they should learn about different religions. Not just Christianity. Not just Judaism. Not just Islam. There's Hinduism, and Janism, and Buddhism, and Confuscism, and Taoism, etc. There are more religions that we don't know anything about because we were never taught it. We could incorporate religion into a world history class, or we could make a religion class for an elective. But I don't believe that people should be introduced to one idea only. There's a world out there, and they need to choose for themselves the right way. We can't spoon feed them.
But then there's an argument that science class only teaches one theory. So let it teach more in regards to evolution. However, the only one I've ever heard of is the string theory. And in other aspects of science, we have theories that no one contradicts. No one contradicts the cell theory. No one makes any effort. So what makes the theories of the origin of universe so much more uncomfortable? I guess because nothing in religion talks about the make up living things. Otherwise, we'd have more petty arguments.
I hope I don't come across as bitter. I'm a Christian, too, but the ignorance of so many of these arguments bothers me. And I like to be informed. And I feel so many times in churches that they lie, or use political propaganda, and don't do what God expects of them. And I felt like sharing this through my anger.
I don't want people to get the wrong idea - I do think that children and teens should be introduced to different religions in school. But when I say different religions, I think they should learn about different religions. Not just Christianity. Not just Judaism. Not just Islam. There's Hinduism, and Janism, and Buddhism, and Confuscism, and Taoism, etc. There are more religions that we don't know anything about because we were never taught it. We could incorporate religion into a world history class, or we could make a religion class for an elective. But I don't believe that people should be introduced to one idea only. There's a world out there, and they need to choose for themselves the right way. We can't spoon feed them.
But then there's an argument that science class only teaches one theory. So let it teach more in regards to evolution. However, the only one I've ever heard of is the string theory. And in other aspects of science, we have theories that no one contradicts. No one contradicts the cell theory. No one makes any effort. So what makes the theories of the origin of universe so much more uncomfortable? I guess because nothing in religion talks about the make up living things. Otherwise, we'd have more petty arguments.
I hope I don't come across as bitter. I'm a Christian, too, but the ignorance of so many of these arguments bothers me. And I like to be informed. And I feel so many times in churches that they lie, or use political propaganda, and don't do what God expects of them. And I felt like sharing this through my anger.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Interpretation
Being a teacher of science, my biology teacher this past year made sure to define terms in black and white. With the help of essayist Stephen Jay Gould, our teacher educated us on the difference between fact and theory (specifically, in regards to evolution; however, the same basis could help clear up other conflicts, too). Evolution was the fact (evolution, meaning the change of species over time) and natural selection was the theory (natural selection being the mechanism that seems the most probable tool to change it. Misunderstanding the basis of evolution, and what science was really trying to say, people like myself got up in arms because of religious beliefs. And I think that many of us end up rejected facts and theories, because we don't know the difference between the two and the power of our perception.
Lately, I've tried to be more of an objective thinker. Obviously, no one person is without bias, however, I've tried to assess life looking at different angles, hearing the different sides before determining what I think and feel. I'm personally beginning to learn a lot more truths, and understand things that were otherwise unknown. But I've also been able to understand so much of the conflict that goes on around us. The root of conflict, on a large scale, comes from ignorance and misunderstandings.
Let me make myself clear, before I give an example: I am a Christian. I believe in God, and the resurrection of Christ. I believe that He was and is and is to come. Now, the other day, I found a yahoo news video on a family who believes their son to be a reincarnated World War II pilot that crash 60 years ago. I started laughing when I read the headline, but, being intrigued, decided to watch the video regardless. It ended up being quite amazing. This couple's son had nightmares in vivid details about planes fighting the Japanese. He knew all about war planes. He was able to describe the actual event that he died during in his dream. They did research for years and found that it matched the life of a specific American pilot from World War II. They assumed, then, that the boy must be reincarnated.
I remember telling my stepmom, thinking it was cool. She was unsure what to think of it, because she doesn't believe in reincarnation. I don't necessarily believe in it either. But when I think about it, I realize this: the boy had nightmares with information he didn't know from outside sources (he was only 2). We can argue about mechanisms, but the fact remains the same.
Facts can be interpretted differently. I'm positive that there is a right way to define and interpret seemingly supernatural happenings, however, I don't know it. I know how I feel, and what I believe to be right, however, when I look at it, many other explanations, when accompanied by human experiences seem just as logical. How can I argue with another's experience and feeling? How can they argue with mine? It'll never end!
Lately, I've tried to be more of an objective thinker. Obviously, no one person is without bias, however, I've tried to assess life looking at different angles, hearing the different sides before determining what I think and feel. I'm personally beginning to learn a lot more truths, and understand things that were otherwise unknown. But I've also been able to understand so much of the conflict that goes on around us. The root of conflict, on a large scale, comes from ignorance and misunderstandings.
Let me make myself clear, before I give an example: I am a Christian. I believe in God, and the resurrection of Christ. I believe that He was and is and is to come. Now, the other day, I found a yahoo news video on a family who believes their son to be a reincarnated World War II pilot that crash 60 years ago. I started laughing when I read the headline, but, being intrigued, decided to watch the video regardless. It ended up being quite amazing. This couple's son had nightmares in vivid details about planes fighting the Japanese. He knew all about war planes. He was able to describe the actual event that he died during in his dream. They did research for years and found that it matched the life of a specific American pilot from World War II. They assumed, then, that the boy must be reincarnated.
I remember telling my stepmom, thinking it was cool. She was unsure what to think of it, because she doesn't believe in reincarnation. I don't necessarily believe in it either. But when I think about it, I realize this: the boy had nightmares with information he didn't know from outside sources (he was only 2). We can argue about mechanisms, but the fact remains the same.
Facts can be interpretted differently. I'm positive that there is a right way to define and interpret seemingly supernatural happenings, however, I don't know it. I know how I feel, and what I believe to be right, however, when I look at it, many other explanations, when accompanied by human experiences seem just as logical. How can I argue with another's experience and feeling? How can they argue with mine? It'll never end!
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